18/06
Thursday, June 19, 2008 @ 12:30:00 AM
one post before i leave for ATC tml.
these few days were really wasted by me. i should PULL all the blames onto myself. i guess in this manner, i will be bettering myself all the time. XD.
i have received all the forms back. it will be time to meet up everyone soon. it sounds like some illegal gathering? hahaha. i was crafting the sms to mass send to everyone then i forgot why i did not send out. alright. i will send it later. hahaha. who cares if they are sleeping or not. XD.
counting down:
4 days and 7.5 hours
to FIRST paper!
economics! hai hai hai.
i just hope that i can endure through 2 nights to CHIONG my assignments and my revision.
i really hope that -you know-. it was not a random comment.you do nothing but i get smitten.
thoughts about CIship.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 @ 2:00:00 AM
just now i was looking through the file that jia xin has uploaded for ATC/STC CI performance and the list of songs we will be singing for the campfire. a memory flashback struck me.
________________________________________________
it was our sec 3 ATC. thinking of that reminded me of the emcees. argh, nvm about them. i was thinking, i remembered aaron telling me, 'wah. look at the CIs. they are really coordinated in their actions for the action songs.'
i remembered replying him, 'of course. CIs are the people who are really committed in the Corps and chose to come back to serve. they are definitely more enthusiastic than most of us sitting here.'
________________________________________________
it is these small little details that really brought memories flowing back. it also sets me thinking.
the campfire i had 3 days back, we did not really coordinate everything huh. we sort of threw our faces away huh. we did not manage to be zai huh. well well well.
i really hope that this upcoming one will be successful. i wish that i am one of the CIs who are able to influence the cadets like how those CIs had influenced me.
i detest the fact that you often change,change into someone entirely different.
16-17/06
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 @ 4:05:00 PM
16/06: i nua-ed until 1400.
why am i so stupid to activate so many blood taps. it must be some retribution from somewhere again. LOL. x=
i have accomplished nothing today!
i am always such a disappointment.
i need a psychiatrist soon. ROFL.17/06: happy birthday to dad and jessica!
i nua-ed until 1330 today. improvement?
ARGH.
suddenly a new camp to go.
suddenly a group instructor.
suddenly a new lesson plan.
suddenly standing-in for CC.
sudden asking for vegetarians.
sudden new group of cadets.
sudden detest for "HOLIDAY".
i saw this article stuck on the refrigerator when i reached home after a camp.
当我老了， 不再是原来的我。
请理解我， 对我有一点耐心。
当我把菜汤倒到自己的衣服上时，
当我忘记怎么系鞋带时，
请想一想当初我是如何手把手的教你。
当我一遍又一遍的重复你已听腻的话语，
请耐心地听我说， 不要打断我。
你小的时候， 我不得不重复那个讲过千百遍的故事，
直到你进入梦乡。
当我需要你帮我洗澡时， 请不要责备我。
还记得小时候我千方百计哄你洗澡的情形吗?
当我对新科技和新事物不知所措时， 请不要嘲笑我。
想一想当初我怎样耐心的回答你的每一个为什么。
当我由于双脚疲劳而无法行走时，
请伸出你年轻有力的手搀扶我。
就像你小时候学习走路时， 我扶你那样。
当我忽然忘记我们谈话的话题， 请给一些时间让我回想。
其实对我来说， 谈论什么并不重要，
只要你能在一旁听我说， 我就很满足。
当你看着老去的我， 请不要悲伤。
理解我， 支持我， 就像你刚开始。
学习如何生活时我对你那样。
当初我引导你走上人生的路，
如今请陪伴我走完最后的路。
给我你的爱和耐心， 我会报以感激的微笑。
这微笑中凝结着我对你无限的爱。
文章选择自墨西哥 《数字家庭》 二零零四年十一月号
we grew up in different environments.no doubt you are ignorant of how i feel.
13-15/06
@ 3:45:00 PM
13/06: CLTCamp day 1.
i was the first to capture lin bing to the far end of innosphere. we were stuck there for 2 odd hours. we would not have been discovered if he did not go to the washroom. lol. nvm. two hours is long enough to torture us.
blah blah blah. lunch! 2.5 packets of maggie!
an activity for them to plan then it was their drill badge test. jasmine and i made up a new drill based on them.
-number- langgar
-direction- gerak.
puzzle-mania was when we walked about the school, looking for jigsaw pieces. after which they have to piece them up in the dark. they did not accomplish it and it was brought to day 2.
debriefed with everyone and we packed.
zhi yao neng bo jun yi xiao,wo zuo de yi qie dou zhi de de.14/06: CLTCamp day 2.
should i start from 0000? hahaha. okay.
jasmine, boss and i went back to the staffroom with ms k for BEDTIME! in camp terms: lights out. hahaha. we bathed, drank delicious milo and slept at 0100?
i woke up at 2 and was lazy to move until jasmine came to wake me. i was having a very good hair day but i have to bun it up for full uniform. x= i did not do much, i did not say much and we went back to change into PT kit for our route march.
very important: i forgot to take my medicine. x=
then i suffered very badly for it. aiyo. aiyo. aiyo.
sunrise cannot be seen clearly. wasted. i zoned out after breakfast when they were having their activity 50m away from me. i went to sit near them after i discovered i have zoned out. LOL. i was so bored and EMO (coz i have thought of many many things) thus i walked all the way to the washroom at mac to freshen up and to EMO as well.
when you mentioned you were becoming a non typical __, that made me ponder. the zhuang yi now. what are in me that i deserve to be one? i have a fear. i do not know what is it. that made me more fearful. what is it that is holding me back from doing what i should?on my way back, jasmine called to ask where i am coz i have disappeared for a long time. XD. it was a really far walk from bbq pit 9 to bbq pit 26 then you turn in to see mac. yawns. that is the speed of an EMO person. i also realized other than taking pictures of the kids, she kept taking candid pictures of me. i knew, i was EMO, so i ignored. XD.
i became alright after that and chose to walk back to school with the rest although TOs, HO and CIs told me to take the car back. i prefer to do things in a complete manner unless i am really unable to do it.
PUMP YOUR WAY OUT was the highlight, jasmine did not lie to me. although she told me it was 100+ pumpings. -,- it ended up with 52. initially we were about to do 4 sets of 52 jumping jets but the idea was called off, i do not know why.
it ended with a reflective note? we went to feed the fishes in the lake and discussed about unit issues. second example of my nua-ness: i was so tired that i fell asleep 5 times while replying a sms. LOL.
i arrived at YTSS for the sec 1 camp at 1930.
YTSS sec 1 camp day 1.
the moment i left the room, i was sort of flooded with things to settle. conflicts and conflicts. it is a challenge for me. i have planned to talk to all three, but apparently, others took my supposedly job away. lol.
why is it that i can forget how to handle them? )=i shouted at them thrice. LOL. cool right.
first was when the sec 1s were being selfish.
second was when the sec 1s were shouting not to drag the chairs and somehow the dragging got louder and louder. x=
third was when NCOs were screaming nonstop.
it was great we went for the same course.we know what each other know. (:
and we are often on the same 'channel'.
15/06: YTSS sec 1 camp day 2.
i was waiting for the moment all 4 of us are free and we can finally go to bath! i was very free until i fell asleep thrice in the canteen. it has been 24 hours when i bathed at 0045. ARGH.
i bathed and i slept at the staffroom again!
third example of my nua-ness: i woke up at 6, went down to room and slept again. i woke up at 0745, stared at them until 0800, went back to room and slept again till 1145. i woke up and i accompanied wenni to bring a cadet out to the doctor for a sting in the finger.
i did not go back to sleep this time round. LOL. i floated here and there. it was break camp suddenly. LOL. debrief with the sec 1s was done by the camp coordinators while the 3 of us hid at the back and did drills. LOL. debrief with the NCOs was done by the CIs.
you will get what you owed us SOON.
i went home and i settled things for ATC and unit. i fell asleep while watching TV and woke up to sleep in my room.
if that can happen in reality,
how i wish you are the only colours,in my whole entire life.
11-12/06
@ 1:00:00 AM
11/06: it was a slack slack day for me. i forgot what i did. x=
still not forgetting what we have done. (:
12/06: a rather busy day. LOL.
in the morning, in the morning, in the morning 7am.
xiu bin gave me a call to wake up as we have decided to meet to check out the council camp at 0730. i told him i have woken up by dropping him a message and i went back to sleep. =D next, he texted me to say he will be late coz he left something at home. i was woken up by that sms and once again, i went back to sleep. LOL.
he smsed me at 8 and asked where am i. i told him for the second time that i am on my way now but of course. i laid in bed comfortably and slept. in the end, i really really woke up at 9 and texted him i am really really on my way there now.
i can be so nua. -,-
we were sabotaged to dance in front of the juniors. sickening. lol. lunch was at LJS. i waited for something to happen until i went home to pack my bag for the camps i was going to have for the next few days.
council buffet dinner at night. alright, i have decided to upload the pictures. it has been long long time since i have done it.
me and yvonne! my hair looks rebonded. (=
me and huimeng! it looked normal now.
me and thava!
me and cheng hui!
me and xiu bin!
me and gabriel!
me and zheng liang!
me and teck seng! he was in a hurry to eat. -,-
me and mariah! before performance.
alright. where is the photo with becky?
ending off this post with a self taken picture. =D
it is everything about you that i am mesmerized with.
LMSC.
Monday, June 16, 2008 @ 11:30:00 PM
i went for LMSC on 9th and 10th. =D
09/06: LMSC DAY ONE.
okay let us look at who do i have in squad 5.
CCHM: rui jing, jennifer, kian how, li hao, lin bing.
TKGS: khaleedah.
BRD: teng tat.
TeKSS: benjaporn, madzri.
TKSS: tyson, jeshua, brandon.
ST PAT: eng houw, zhen wei.
it was my first LMSC and i was really nervous. lol. early in the morning we changed into full uniform and awaited the arrival of the cadets. i assigned myself to squad 5 which in the end, a lot of the chung cheng kids were transferred to my squad. alright, not really transferred but they volunteered themselves. =D
we had a short session before anything starts. i told and showed them how to check uniforms. it is either i am cui or they are really dead. x= as much as i hope that it is the second option, i guess there is a major part of the first option? x=
MOI after lecture. i think i showed A BIT of attitude during it. LOL. i know i should not but i was A BIT angry by their tardiness. it was lunch! hahaha. the favourite moment of pang zhuang yi's life. one packet of rice and 7 puddings down. oops!
jasmine was the first to get shot by the experience sharing suggested by jun yi. alright. i was really scared to get shot. lol.
i had my second private moment with the squad. not really private but discussion time. as usual, the chung cheng kids were rather enthusiastic and the rest are A BIT dead. i could see many starting to open up and bond as a squad, which is good. =D
not forgetting to mention that the instructors were constantly taking pictures. lol. i was the one initiating it often. =D
was that feelings or pure care and concern?10/06: LMSC DAY TWO.
my squad shrank. x= by 2 and expanded by 1.
cease everything before you learn it the hard way.leadership lecture followed by LUNCH! 2 packets of rice and 2 puddings went down my throat to my stomach. lol. gigantic appetite huh. XD.
TBG! where i got some ideas for ATC TBG.
key pad was their warm up session. they played it repeatedly, breaking their own records. in the end, broken by jasmine's squad with 5+ seconds?
poncho fold. they insisted that they have done a fantastic job by folding it 8 halves out of the possible 7 halves. XD. this is also the part where they like me? LOL. i was just kidding by that statement. they told me to tell the other instructors that they folded it at least 6 times. coz the method they used for the 5th time, was sort of prompted by me. so a squad which breaks the record is a good one and it will look good on the instructor as well. a scheming squad huh.
spider web. jennifer thanked me for saving her life. LOL. she was lifted to the other side with only boys so i helped to carry her down. XD. rui jing was floated to the other side by the space on the top and of course, they destroyed the web. a scheming AND violent squad i led.
let's hold hands. they did not succeed in this. they are supposed to move one grid by one grid, not fall out of the papers and not release their hands. they took around 10 minutes to complete it but some of them released their squadmates' hands and stepped out of the boundary. they tried it for the second time and i think i did not really mention to them that they are only allowed to move one step by one per person. x=
this is the activity which the whole squad was very energetic and really bonded. saying that they are bonded now, is a contradiction to what will happen later.
treading on dangerous waters. it was the activity which i felt it was not really well done by squad 5. although they achieved their common goal, but some were left out. team building is not like this. )= which i think i also failed as their instructor. )=
last moment and last debrief with the squad.
cu yi nong nong, hao nan shou.
we returned to the LT for the last part of TB lecture. debrief: everyone spoke up. (= i told them how i felt. a mini activity by jun yi. he told everyone to take out their coloured papers and to pass around to their friends to write comments about them. i received around 10 pieces, which means it is not everyone's, to write on.
wah. i felt touched and good! hahaha.
i do not know how to describe the feeling. (=
it is a kind of experiential learning.
what made you say that?
the desire for more moments?
or plain care and concern?
test.
@ 4:00:00 PM
Rules:
1. the rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. at the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names, goes to their blogs and leave a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.
Starting time: 1600
Name: pang zhuang yi
Brothers: 0
Sisters: 2 (3?)
Shoe size: 7.5 or 8?
Height: 168cm.
Where do u live? yishun
Favourite drinks? green tea, raw milo. XD.
Favourite breakfast? erm. depends. =D
Have you ever been on a plane? to 3 or 4 countries.
Swam in the ocean? yes. forced to. LOL.
Fallen asleep in school? that is compulsory.
Fell off your chair? i forgot.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? nope?
Saved email? yes?
What is your room like? worse than everyone's.
What's right beside you? laptop, messy table?
What is the last thing u eat? rice, vege, meat, ba zang.
Ever had chicken pox? yes.
Sore throat? definitely.
Stiches? i guess that was it?
Broken nose? not yet. =D
Do you believe in love at first sight? definitely. (:
Like picnics? depends.
Who was/were the last person you danced with? CIIs? LOL.
Last made you smile? that someone. (:
You last yelled at? my sister. =D
Today you did? scavenging for food, watched tv, MUG.
Have you ever kissed anyone? i forgot? lol.
Get sick? quite often this year.
Miss someone? definitely. (:
Eat? scavenged and ate.
Best feeling in the world? when someone cares.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? hahaha. yes.
What's under your bed? dust. x=
Who do you really hate? that few people. x=
What time is it now? 1605
Is there a person on your mind now? always. (:
Do you have any siblings? yes.
Do you want to have children? hui you na me yi tian. q=
Do you smile often? depends. (:
Are your toe nails painted? never been.
Whose bed other than yours would u rather sleep in? when i am tired, even the floor can be my bed.
What colour shirt are you wearing now? black.
What were you doing at 7.00pm yesterday? home zoning out.
Are you a friendly person? VERY. =D
Do you have any pets? last time. turtle.
Where is the person you have feelings for right now? at home mugging?
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you? whose hands did i hold. hmm. but the last person i held hands with, WHICH I REMEMBERED, is love.
Do you sleep with the TV on? always. even if my mouth was stuffed with food.
What are you doing right now? trying hard to mug. LOL.
Have you ever climb through a window? yes. classroom's if i did not remember wrongly.
Can you handle truth? fortunately and unfortunately, yes.
Are you too forgiving? retarded-ly extreme sometimes.
Are you closer to your mother or father? mother?
Who was the last person u cried in front of? i cannot remember.
How many people can you say you've really loved? too many. =D
Do you eat healthy? see my size and infer. LOL.
Have you cried because of something someone said to you? of course.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? the person knows. (:
Are you loud or quiet most of the time? i would say, noisy.
Are you confident? was YES, but now, i think so?
5 things i was doing 10 years ago:
1. being irritating (still the same now).
2. eating.
3. sleeping.
4. sneaking out to watch tv. XD.
5. being ugly (not changed yet).
5 things on my today's list:
1. blog.
2. MUG.
3. trying to focus.
4. not to think of you, but it is really tough. q=
5. get things into my thick skull.
5 Snacks i enjoy:
1. sweets.
2. chocolates.
3. chips.
4. myself.
5. you. (:
5 things i would do if i were a billionaire:
1. fulfill willing and able to buy.
2. fulfill non materialistic demands.
3. settle all debts. x=
4. help those in need.
5. buy a big house. XD.
5 of my bad habits:
1. -ve attitude.
2. -ve mindset.
3. i care too much about things i should not, care too little about things i should.
4. not conscientious enough.
5. being a -ve example.
5 places i lived in:
1. yishun.
2. tampines.
3. ubin.
4. choa chu kang.
5. other random places. XD.
5 jobs i've had:
1. kumon.
2. stand in for sandy.
3. flyers?
5 PEOPLE I TAG:
1. i
2. am
3. lazy
4. to
5. tag.
07-08/06
Tuesday, June 10, 2008 @ 11:50:00 PM
07/06: dry run for sec 1 camp.
rahimi commented that the way i hold my debrief has changed (really?). i did not realize that. hahaha. he said i sounded like zaki. 0:
lunch at LJS. why does so many people have the impression that i eat a lot and a lot? i know i eat a lot, but why do they have that impression? ROFL. now more and more people know. -,-
the setting, the feeling and even the smell.but am i able to bear to leave you like that?the ending to the fairy tale lies in my decision.
08/06: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BUDDY!
i woke up at 0915 and went out of house to meet the others at 0930. when i called that birthday "boy" (now a guy) to ask about his location, the first thing he said was, "hello, who are you?" -,-
he is supposed to know my temporary number. the main point is not that. i went to meet the others at 0930, but it turned out that everyone is meeting at 1030. i was lucky that peixin, buddy, yeetat, jingyee and esther are in ya kun toast eating breakfast. if not i can rot for one hour. x=
we slacked outside OCBC and mac then finally set off to 969 to pasir ris park (the same park i had gone to for surFIVErace -,-). we cycled for 1 hour, met up at the rental shop, different people took the roller blades and we set off again.
we stood outside KBox for a long time to settle the different preference between KBox and "japan village" (ri ben cun). no KBox but ri ben cun and tai wan xiao chi. yum yums as usual. hahaha. that is compulsory for me!
we went to the arcade and celebrated buddy's birthday with a cake. all of us took many, many photos with buddy's k850i. the very bad thing is, all pictures are approximately in >1.2MB. it took us LONG to send to one and other. but the spirit we still have, is simply fabulous!
i almost forgot about my camp! LOL.
i want to bring you around. (:
i want you to enjoy yourself.
06/06
Friday, June 6, 2008 @ 11:30:00 PM
today is quite a significant day.
it has already been two years.
people, do not think too much.
i broke my rifle 19 on 060606.
hahaha.
i went to HTA today to pass ALL the pink forms and CI confirmation forms of the NPAP trainers. i ended up leaving HTA at 7 after rotting and crapping in the FI office.
this part is dedicated to how i felt last night.
i have figured this out. the last thing you would ask a perfectionist to do, is to ask the perfectionist to fold bedsheets.
the perfectionist will take an hour to figure out how to straighten the sides, which impossible as the rubber bands on each side will create a curve.
the perfectionist will take another hour to try to place it nicely on a flat surface and TRIES to fold it neatly. of course, the rubber bands stopped the perfectionist from doing so.
in desperation, a perfectionist will do a slip-shod job and the sheets are folded in a really disgusting manner.
the perfectionist will wonder why the bedsheets are not those of hotels. those which is only a piece of cloth. the perfectionist will probably spend the third hour thinking of how to master the skill of removing and putting them in place before the next usage.
after typing this, the perfectionist realizes that there is still one last bedsheet to be folded. all the perfectionist did was, just pulling the other end with no rubber bands attached and pulled them together with no care about the standard.
it is very good enough that the perfectionist was not found asleep with the bedsheet in place of the blanket that the perfectionist needs whenever the perfectionist sleeps.
now the perfectionist retires for the day to avoid confrontation of the standard of work done. pillow cases are much easier to fold.
all in all, perfectionists should not be tasked of folding normal bedsheets which are attached to rubber bands.
can you bear to let me leave you?
31/05-05/06
Thursday, June 5, 2008 @ 1:00:00 PM
31/05: it was a fine rotting day!
hahaha. the always lazy zhuang yi was, of course, being lazy again. i was supposed to wake up at 0830 but ended up awake at 1030! -,-
the fear of some things happening. x=
but it all turned out fine. =D phew!
tasty, melodious, perfect.
01/06: GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!
we went to bugis to get hongkai's 21st birthday present. we walked around aimlessly to look for the already-disappeared puzzle shop.
we first walked into one of the sports shop and decided to see if there is any shirts, bottoms, bag or jacket which may be suitable for him.
1st item: the nike water bottle.
i NEED a permanent one to extend my care. XD.
we walked into BHG (reminds me of ansar! =D) and saw all the wonderful toys. barbie, WINNIE THE POOH, gundam seed, MONKEYS.
but we did not see any teletubbies! XD.
3rd item: that amazing pair of converse shoes.
actually i HAD already wanted it. LOL.
before we entered BHG, we walked past samuel and kevin and i looked at what the model was wearing.
2nd item: that bermudas!
i need more bottoms than what i have.
what i always had in mind a long time ago.
4th item: a pair of havaianas slippers!
i have not a proper pair after my last!
before we left bugis junction, we finally decided on a bag.
5th item: a BIG timbuktu bag!
actually i have always wanted a crumpler.
but i guess i should settle for a "cheaper" one.
500 piece puzzle is not easy; neither does forgetting you.
02/06: first day of holiday lessons!
i did my maths tutorial from 8 to 9 coz i do not have extra H1 lesson! woots! i guess it is no benefit coz i will be slack. -,-
i forgot what happened again. hahaha.
all the crazy ideas are related to you!
03/06: second day of holiday lessons!
MA was at 1110 and i woke up at 1030. as usual, i lazed out of my house and had lessons till 1405. how i wish this was to be my permanent timetable.
yeah. in my dreams and my holiday.
i must be crazy. (:
04/06: third day of holiday lessons!
ec at 0805. what happened was, there was an error with the MRT trains and many people were stuck somewhere?
i have hardworkingly printed out half the preliminary papers! but how much am i going to accomplish, is another hardworking issue.
i am such a scheming pig. XD.
05/06: fourth day of holiday lessons!
why do i seem to be unable to wake up today?
nvm. half a day has passed and i am finally blogging after WEEKS! (actually it is only 1.5 weeks) i am going back to college for EC which i think less than 5 from my class will attend? hahaha.
currently, i have another 25 minutes to slack.
________________________________________________
i wonder, will A get reminded of all the great times A and B had when their relationship sours?
i do. i wonder, what caused our relationship to sour when we have had wonderful moments.
again i wonder, will A ever think of the future possible sour moments A and B might experience?
i do and i do not. i wonder how long will this moment last. after that, i will force the thought out of my mind and savour the moment.
________________________________________________
random but it sets one thinking, right?
a pig has just schemed a crazy idea.
