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PANG ZHUANG YI
true enough. well, if i am not talking when you see me, it can only mean two things; either i am overwhelmed by someone or i am E M O ing.
temper is on the SUPERB extreme. try me if you do not believe in that.
if a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then is an empty desk?
no wonder my desk is always flooded. =D
all that were in the past.
Saturday, December 23, 2006 @ 1:20:00 AM
disappointments. disappointments, followed by disappointments.why must it happen to me? why must it happen to me, not once, not twice?the series of memorable disappointments that happened this year. year 2006, when i am fifteen. young fifteen. oops=xfirstly, it was the election.- there are just too much of information. not convenient to divulge here.
secondly, it was the postings.- there are also too much of information. very inconvenient to say here.
thirdly, it were the promotions.first time round, three passed. roland, jeremy and jai. we were not shocked that roland and jeremy got it. but why jai? the reason is simple. he put in that amount of effort and he passed the criteria- 80%. not biasness, he made it to the criteria. he deserves it, he worked for it.
secong time round, five passed. aaron, jiahui, rahimi, shi yuan and jiajun. i think none of anyone here is very unexpected to pass. they studied for it, they worked for it, they deserves it.
i still did not pass, even after the second re-test. moi. why did i get orienteering? why didn't i get flag-staff? if mas and i have got flag-staff, we would have passed? nevermind. it is already over. all that i can do is, hollow my new boots, polish it, brush up on everything and go for the third re-test. it just seemed so much. third. awful too.
i was really disappointed. when roland told me i failed, i was like, "really? ok lor." i was half wondering if he was lying to me, and the other half of me was thinking of, "how ar? failed twice leh." i put in more effort for this time than the previous. just my moi. like the first time, i went online. i went to talk to jiahui and aaron. we were discussing (half grumbling) to each another for the first test. this time round, i didn't discuss or grumble. i merely said i was really very disappointed.
P.S. my msn pm- all the efforts since sec1. i wonder what i commit myself to. and why i commit myelf to nothing. attendance 100% every year -> meaningful?
anyway, it is only until today i know orienteering is under camp craft. all the while i thought camp craft is only about knots, lashings, lamps and pioneering. i was dumb. i will not be dumb over this again. for other things maybe.
i told myself: "zhuang yi, it is perfectly fine to be disappointed. after disappointment, think about what will be your next step. don't always think about your failure and brood over it. a disappointment is a psychology wound. it is useless to look at the wound and grumble all day. attend to it if needed, and then move on. the crux is, move on. the wound will not disappear if you continue to look at it. cry all you want, cry all you can. after the cryings and regretting, think about what to do next then the planning will be executed. do whatever is needed. no use having big ideas when you do nothing to execute it. no use having the same attitude and thinking as the person you hate. all talk no action. these four words are certainly powerful, powerful enough to lose all the respect for a person. think about the future. people always give up when they are near the finishing line (of course they don't know they are near, if not who will give up?). winners should be persistent to get what they want. people are successful as they are determined to reach their target. i want to be one of them, a successful winner."